Biting
Biting other people is common in children ages 3 and younger. It becomes a problem if it happens frequently, occurs after age 3, injures others, or occurs with other aggressive behaviors.
A baby who is teething may bite in response to the sensation in the mouth or to relieve the pressure on the gums. Children may also bite as a way to cope with strong emotions—such as powerlessness, fear, or frustration—because they lack the social and language skills to express these feelings appropriately.
Usually, a firm "no" and stern expression will stop a child from biting. Children who bite frequently, especially if age 3 or older, should be evaluated by a doctor.
How can you help prevent your child from biting?
Most biting can be prevented with proper supervision that includes helping children express their feelings appropriately.
- Praise your child for behavior you want to encourage, like sharing or being kind and patient. For example, say, "Great job! You used your words when you were angry."
- Set a good example by showing your child how to deal calmly with everyday frustrations. Avoid angry outbursts and other forms of aggression.
- Learn to recognize the signs that your child is about to bite. You may be able to stop biting before it happens by distracting or redirecting.
- Distract a child who is becoming frustrated with other types of play, such as dancing or working on a puzzle.
- Help your child put feelings into words, like saying, "You must feel angry with Bobby for taking your toy."
- Teach your child empathy, which is understanding and being sensitive to the feelings of others.
What can you do about your child's biting?
Not all biting can be prevented. What you can do to reduce biting depends on how old your child is and why your child bites. For example:
- For teething babies, give them teething rings or a frozen washcloth to chew on.
- For infants, tell them that biting hurts other people. (Children this age are often not aware that bites hurt.) If your child bites you or someone else, react with a firm voice and say something like, "No! We do not bite."
- For toddlers, help them find other ways to express their feelings. For example, say something like, "Use your words to tell Susan that you're angry at her for taking your truck."
Learn to recognize the signs that your child is about to bite. You may be able to stop the biting before it happens if you can distract or redirect your child. Don't try to reason with young children or have long talks about biting. Use simple and direct language.
Positive reinforcement also helps. Praise your child when your child shows behaviors that you want to encourage, such as sharing, being kind, or being patient. A reward can be as simple as giving your child a hug or a pat on the back and telling the child how well they are doing.
Be sure to model the behavior you would like to see in your child. Avoid angry outbursts, and set a good example by showing your child how to deal calmly with everyday frustrations. When a child bites:
- Don't bite the child back to show how it feels to be bitten.
- Don't wash out the child's mouth with soap.
- Don't pinch, slap, or use other physical punishment.
When is a child most likely to bite another child?
Biting occurs in a variety of situations, most often when many children are together, such as at day care. Most biting can be prevented when adults help children find better ways to express their feelings.
A child of any age who frequently bites other children may need special arrangements for day care. If biting becomes an ongoing problem, parents may be asked to take their child out of a day care center.
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