All children have times when they are angry and defiant. Many children begin to express these emotions during their second year. It is a normal part of a child's urge to take charge of their life. However, your child may act out in ways that puzzle or frighten you. It can be very painful to see your child bullying other children or becoming violent.
You can help your child learn to understand and manage angry feelings. Show your child the behavior you want to see. Set firm, clear limits around what behavior is okay. If you are consistent in your own behavior, it will help your child understand how to behave with other people. If you need help with your child's behavior, talk to your doctor or a counselor.
Children and teens usually give hints that they are thinking about being violent toward others.
Watch for behavior changes in your child or teen. For instance, your child or teen may:
Parents can help protect their child or teen from being violent. When kids feel loved and safe, they are more likely to deal with situations without using violence. Here are some things you can try.
Locking a gun in a place away from the ammunition may help. But there is still a risk.
Children who watch a lot of this violence may start to believe that such actions are okay. This can make them more likely to be violent themselves.
Help your child find ways to resolve conflict without using violence. All other adults in the home and other family members can be good role models too.
Dating abuse is common among teens. Abuse can be verbal, emotional, psychological, sexual, or physical. It can happen in person, over the computer, and over the phone. Explain that this is not acceptable. Tell your teen that a caring partner would not do something to someone that causes fear, lowers self-esteem, or causes injury. Talk with your teen about how to leave a relationship that isn't healthy.
Teens who use alcohol or drugs are more likely to be in violent situations.
Talk with a health professional or licensed counselor if you think that your child may need help dealing with conflict. For example, if you've been told your child has been bullying others, take this seriously and seek help.
Certain things make violent behavior in children or teens more likely. These are called risk factors. They can include any or a combination of these things:
When you recognize warning signs of violent behavior in someone else, there are steps you can take. Don't assume that someone else will deal with the situation. Taking action and telling someone who can help can prevent harm to yourself and others. It also will protect a teen with potentially violent behavior from making a mistake that will affect the rest of their life.
Here are actions to take if you are worried about violent behavior in another teen.
Tell someone you trust and respect, such as a family member, counselor, or teacher, about your concerns and ask for help.
If you need help right away, call 911.
Violent behavior includes fighting, bullying, and using a weapon to threaten or hurt others. Most violence occurs between friends or acquaintances or in families. It may be aimed at parents, other children, friends, or family members.
Call 911 anytime you think your child may need emergency care. For example, call if:
Contact your doctor if:
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